You know those strange moments when you feel like something big is gonna blow up?  For reasons unubeknownst to my conscious mind, I feel so scared and anxious. 

I hate it when both my heart and my mind [individually and together] play this game on me.

I need a cigarette. Babu.

and I thought that I was already too busy at work.  and i thought things are not gonna get busier. 

it's cartwheel season again for me as I just got word that things are gonna be extremely busy in the days, weeks, and months ahead. 

but i will survive this, and i know it.

i guess i'm just holding on to something i don't even have. something i'm not even sure i will have. something i've never had for the longest time. something to remind me that there is life outside of work. something that i will only know if i could be braver enough - come what may.

Life is indeed unfair, but I'm fucking living with it!